Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Happily Ever After Day 4

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
So, I'm supposed to let go. I'm not supposed to try to work it out on my own. Geez louise, could you ask me to do anything harder?! I have such a hard time with not being in control but I'm so not in control now that trying to be is just silly. I'm attempting to lean on my friends and family. Its very hard for me to accept help.
I turned in my keys to the house today and Mom told me not to give them any more money and just see what happens. I'm hoping they get the house leased soon. I'm going to post something on Craigslist to promote it and hopefully someone will be interested. Its a nice property and the neighbors are great. Really good price for renting too. Fingers crossed. See, I'm trying to control that too.
This is going to be tough.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Happily Ever After Day 3

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 - We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.
Yeah, I know the feeling. I don't want to know anything else that Rob is saying or doing!!! People just need to shut up and not say anything. I'm trying so hard not to be totally pissed off at him and then people tell me things that hurt and crush my spirit. He's moving on really quickly and there's nothing I can do about that. So why tell me. I hate this. I refuse to wallow and hearing about this stuff just brings all those feelings back up so I have to push them out again. I want to cry but I don't see the point.
On a good note, I think I've resolved part of a money issue that came up. The rest of its a mess but oh well. I created a budget last night. I want to set a date for the Europe trip that Kat and I always wanted to take. We didn't have the money before but I can legitimately save for it now without Mr. Drain the Accounts in my life. :) I also want to get buying a house in the works. I'm seriously thinking about trading in the suv. I can deal with something smaller and it would save some money. I need to check my credit score first though. Scary. And perhaps in a year or so, a house to buy. Hooray!

Monday, April 02, 2007

Happily Ever After Day 2

Isaiah 32:17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.
Some peace sounds great. I'm so sick of hearing from Rob right now. I really wish there was no business to take care of. I'm sad about the whole thing and talking to him just makes me feel horrid. Today's passage talks of choosing a righteous path and having a clean and complete healing. Its so hard for me to choose the right path because right now its the difficult path. Walking out the door a month ago was the first time I felt like I stood up for myself and did what was good for me and consequently him too since he seems a lot happier. (Course now I'm hearing about things I don't want to hear about what he's doing. I wish my friends would not make it so easy for me to figure out what's going on. I haven't asked but things slip out and then I can't help but think about them.) I have to be able to let go and right now it doesn't feel like I can. I'm almost to the point where I think I could really go out with someone else but I don't want to rush anything. I just feel like we were so distant for so long that I'm a lot further than one month away from the relationship. This is all so freakin' sad.
It says, "Choose wisely." I just don't feel wise right now. How the crap am I to choose wisely when I feel like an idiot?

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Happily Ever After Day 1

So, I'm trying out this devotional book Happily Ever After by Kristin Armstrong (former wife of Lance Armstrong). I'm going through a (God I hate saying this) divorce. It will be a year before NC lets me say I'm done since they insist on a year of separation sooo it would be good to have some sort of guide through this. I checked this book out from the library and depending on how it goes, I may buy it. I can't keep the book out for the whole year!
Anyway, Day 1's verse is Exodus 12:2 - This month is to be for you the first month, the first month of your year. It really doesn't feel like my year but apparently God "loves to laugh at the impossible" so we'll see. I would like to move on. I would like to have true love, covenantal love. I would like to have a family and all my dreams come true. I don't know if that's possible and I'm so crushed and disappointed that it didn't happen already. I had a goal to be on my way to marriage by 25. Being on my way to divorce at 26 was not part of the plan. Now, I'm not sure what goals to set. I would like to be whole again in 6 months. I would like for God to send a man that is going to lift me up and be a true Christian. I would like to not fall too head over heels to see the truth. I would like to stop being scared. I need to make good Godly decisions. I need God.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Deep Thoughts . . .

Overall, I learned a few new sites in the course of this program and although I don't see myself using all of it for work in a direct way, I feel like I'm keeping up with fun new technologies. As a librarian, I think its very important to be aware of whats out there. I don't like looking clueless when a patron young or old asks me how or what something is and I've never even heard of it! Its especially important when working with kids since they know everything as soon as it comes out.
My favorites along the way were:

I really didn't like:

  • Rollyo
  • Searching for feeds (most results were useless!)

I enjoyed the format this took but I noticed a lot of co-workers not taking the time to participate. Perhaps shorter versions could be made with smaller incentives to encourage people to take that time out. Most of those who did not get motivated to participate were less inclined to be technosavvy. Although I did see some coworkers who usually have some difficulty with tech issues really get interested in the project.

I would definitely participate in future projects/endeavors. Especially with another cool incentive like this one had. It was fun and I'm relieved to be at the finish line. Phew!

Audiobooks online

So, I'm currently downloading Carrie by Stephen King. I thought the tutorial for NetLibrary was done really well. I thought about skipping it and just going to NetLibrary but I'm glad I didn't because it gave some good tips and plus I got to hear Mary's voice. :) So, it was quick and painless and when I get my MP3 player on Monday, I'll know what to do. Yay! I don't have too much else to say about NetLibrary. The titles are a bit limited so it seems better to browse to find something to listen to instead of looking for something specific unless its a title in public domain. Of course, that's based on my cursory first review of the site. We'll see how it goes over time. I love listening to these so its very cool.

Listening 2.0

So, I searched for some different types of podcasts and had trouble getting it to play at first. I kept trying and it finally started to pop up correctly. Not sure what happened but I don't think it was me because I just kept clicking on different podcasts and then it magically worked. I subscribed to a few on Yahoo podcasts and I did like that I could add it to My Yahoo which I pretty regularly check. I decided to add podiobooks to my bloglines account. This site that I found on Yahoo's site has podcasts of books. I didn't see a lot of big name authors on there but I thought it would be interesting to check it out. I also really enjoyed the NPR podcasts that were available. The story of the day was interesting and I subscribed to that. I didn't find a podcast that specifically reviewed children's books but there were some that reviewed books and included children's books. I'll probably just stick with the RSS news feed of NPR that reviews just children's books. Yep, will definitely continue to listen to these. Although, I could use some headphones that aren't bulky. I've had to borrow the library's headphones and they just don't look cool. I'll have to buy a pair to keep at my desk that are a little less nerdy.